Service with a Smile

I have lived abroad for many years, and returning to the US, I realized that most service here is basically like you get at a taco stand in Mexico, which means, your drinks arrive, then your food, and there you go. God forbid you should want or need anything else. Now this is not, obviously, at every restaurant in the U.S. just at most.

When we go to a restaurant, we are paying for someone to take care of us. This seems to be lost on servers in the U.S. We are paying you to bring us our drinks (plural), our meal (the way we order it), and to come back and make sure everything is good, to see if we would like anything else. When we order a bottle of wine, you should pour it, and correctly.

A bottle costs about $60 (on average for a decent wine), and you probably expect at least a 20% tip. Let's say you make $8.00 and hour, and our meal takes about an hour (for ease of calculation), and let's say there are three of us. Let's also say the average appetizer plate is $10.00 and the average salad also to be split is $10.00, plus the $60.00 bottle of wine, and the main course of average cost at $15.00 a plate. We can average dessert at $12.00. This being at an average restaurant.

$  60.00 Wine
$  20.00 Salad and Appetizer
$  45.00 Three Meals
$  12.00 Shared Dessert
$137.00 Total Pre-Tax
$  12.19 SalesTax (Calculated at 8.9%)
$149.19 Total for 3 people to meet for a nice lunch/dinner

$27.40 Tip calculated at 20% + your $8.00 an hour wage makes that one hour of service for a singular table $35.40 for doing an unskilled job. You hand the menu, unless there is a hostess, you write the order down, and you bring the food. People often tip on the total (incl. tax), but the tip actually is based on the pre-tax amount (as it is shown above).

Most waiters expect 20% gratuity, and many restaurants require a minimum of 15% (especially in groups). I have in the passed actually not tipped, and I have not tipped when in a group before. The job of the client is not to pay your wage, that is actually the responsibility of the restaurant, and it is primarily an American tradition to tip. I look at it this way, I way over tip for excellent service (I mean 30-35%), good service 20%, average service 10% - 15%. If I don't tip you, there is a very valid reason, which is in no impacted by the kitchen staff. A server cannot control the mistakes the kitchen staff makes, but if the staff puts onion rings when I ordered fries that is the servers job to catch it. A server cannot control how long it takes your meal to be prepared. Servers can and should come back and see if anything else is needed, or if everything is ok. A server should come back and pour the wine (when a bottle is ordered - even the least expensive bottle). Servers should provide service politely and with a smile of pleasure to serve, that is what their job is. This world of entitlement seems to make servers expect 20% for setting a plate on the table.

I am probably harder on most servers than the average person, because I have been there. I worked at

an extremely busy truck stop on I-5 in Portland, Oregon. I had 10 - 12 tables in my section and sometimes the busboy (singular) would not help me. I have also been a waitress at a very busy nightclub in a tourist town during spring break. I have been tipped .50 (fifty cents) and I have been tipped $200 (two hundred dollars), both clients received the same service, because that was my job, and that was what I received a wage for. A gratuity is just that it is showing gratitude for you going above and beyond. So my philosophy is that when I don't tip and when I over tip, it kind of balances out. I am ensuring that those who really deserve the money, receive it. It also stands to reason that the server that did not get tipped generally feels jilted, rather than analyzing what they may have done to cause this, or what they could do to improve next time. If you tip poorly or do not tip, always leave an explanation. Please do not tip 20% just because. If they do not even come back to see if you would like a second drink, did they really earn 20%? Asking if you would like dessert (which I noticed here in the U.S. is rarely asked) or if you would like another drink, is just basic decent service.

Make clients smile and laugh, because nothing is more beautiful than a smile and laughter.